Sunday, March 12, 2006
This is what i have been waiting for long...
All are asleep at home...
I am the only one awake...
Such a nice a peaceful nite...
Haiz...Life has been sooooo irritating for the past 6mths or so...
Believe it? 6 mths!!!
Hell man...
Let me list out certain things that i have learnt...
1) Teasure the ppl around u now beofore it is too late
2) DUN EVER GET MARRIED!!!
i am seeing all the problems ppl can get due to their marriage...
It just scares me...
Just think who are those getting affected?
Nt only u n ur spouse but ur children, those around u too...
Think of the ones who luv u before u do something stupid...
Hurting urself doesn't mean tat the problems can be solved...
No point running away from problems too...
Either u get the problem solved or just ignore the whole thing...
Pls try to understand tat u aren' t the only one getting affected...
Look at how old i am? just reached 17 5mths back...
I am having depression... I might have gotten admitted into IMH ( Insititute of Mental Health)
This is the age to enjoy life for me but look where ur actions have led me too...
Do u knw how much i suffer?
1) No appetite, I can go without feeling hungry for days
2) Loss of slp, i mean i CAN'T slp! i go to sch looking like a panda bear
3) Loss of mood, i m always feeling down. There were times when i just go to the staircase at sch and sit and cry at the 3rd storey. Just too much for me to take...
4) I started to avoid ppl, ppl who are important in my life like my family and frens. i started to quieten down in class and at home i just go to bed. I try nt to talk to anyone...
5) Easily irritatable, trust me... i started picking fights at home over small issues...
6) Hated everything around me... Just couldn't find anyone to confide in...
The only thing tat was lacking was the suicide feeling... I can bet it wldn't have taken me much more longer wanting to die...
I think tat i have said too much in this entry.
It's just tat i have been affected so much...
I want to be freed from this feeling...
Pls dun make me get to the extend tat i have to end everything...
I am begging u, nt only one person but all...
Dun make me find a solution for all this,
'Coz when i do, it would be too late...
Mark my words...
I am sorry ...